The Proposal
Where to begin? I guess it would have to be a little over a year ago back in October 2007. On my last trip to Chicago, which was actually my first trip to the Windy City ever - and I only spent about 6 hours in the city - was when this all probably started. It was there when I made up in my mind exactly where and how I would propose to my girlfriend if and when we decided it would be time. And now here we are almost a year and a half later and I’m engaged to the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and the “Plan” couldn’t have gone any better.
Once I had finally decided that Ashley was the one I wanted to spend my life with and I was financially in a position to purchase a ring it was time to propose. The problem I initially faced though, was how do you propose to someone who knows that it’s going to be coming soon (e.g. part of our agreement when we bought the new house and moved in together) and who knows what ring you were planning on getting her - because it was picked out and tried on almost a year ago from today? My solution was to develop the “Plan”.
To start with, the “Plan” evolved from its initial conception. I had to be flexible in a number of things in order for all the working parts to fit, but in the end, I have to say, I was shocked that everything worked out. So, around the beginning of March (2009), I called up my future father-in-law to-be, and asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage. His response was, “I was wondering when you were going to get around to doing that.” After giving me a little more grief though, he said that “Yes” I could have his daughter’s hand. With that answer, I then began telling him my idea for the proposal and if he would be interested in being a part of it. After getting off the phone with him, I then called my parents - and later Ashley’s sister and brother-in-law - to tell them the news and also explain the proposal to them. After a few days of coordinating, I was able to decide on a date for the proposal. It was further off then I would have liked, but if was the first available weekend everyone had.
Once the day - or weekend in this case - had been decided on, I had to coordinate with Ashley’s job and the church - she was scheduled to work with the kids that weekend - for the time off. Luckily, she had the vacation time, and her director and manager had no problems with her not being in the office on the Friday and Monday of the trip, and she could easily be covered for her shift at the church. I also arranged to have our dog, Drake, looked after over the weekend by some friends. Now that all her obligations - and mine as well - had been worked out, it was now time to book and reserve everything.
I booked a four day weekend at the Sofitel Chicago Water Tower Hotel - in Chicago for those who didn’t pick up on it - and made flight reservations on US Airways. I also booked a sedan and chauffeur to bring us from the airport to the hotel. Now here is where the “Plan” deviated from its initial conception. At first, I had originally planned on surprising Ashley at her office with a limo and a packed bag and was going to take us straight to the airport. Unfortunately, I booked the flight too early in the morning, and we would need to be arriving at the airport around the time we would normally be getting up in the morning. Second, the sedan and chauffeur that I reserved could only take us from point A (the airport) to point B (the hotel) with no slight detours. This oversight forced me to change when I had original planned on proposing.
Over the next few weeks I was taking care of a number of things. In addition to figuring out how to overcome my first couple obstacles, I had to purchase the engagement ring. To begin with, I started looking at rings around a year ago, because I wanted to have an idea of what to get Ashley well before “the time” was coming. That way I would already know what I needed to know, and I wouldn’t have to accidentally drop hints later on. So, after going to a few stores and researching on my own, I started asking Ashley random questions, and I was soon discovering that I knew more about rings and diamonds then she did. As a result, we started looking at rings together. This was fine at the time because neither of us were ready to get married and it was fun to kind of look around. Well, on this one occasion, we went into Tiffany & Co. and it was all over. She actually went right to the ring I had picked out about a week earlier and fell in love with it. With that, the ring had been decided on. Finding the right ring was great, however, having your future fiancé know about it was sort of an unfortunate situation to be in.
Fast forward to late March of this year and it was purchasing time. So, I go in and tell my sales associate what I’m looking for and he presents me with various options on the ring choice I had told him. I knew right away which one I was going with. The final ring was platinum with a round brilliant cut 0.65 carat diamond (VVS1 in clarity and F in color) in a six-prong Tiffany setting with channel set round brilliant cut diamonds in the band. The hard part was now over, or so I though. The purchase turned into a slight hassle. Unknown to me - though I should have known about it - was a daily purchase limit on my check card. After talking for a number of minutes with my bank it became clear that I wasn’t going to be able to purchase the ring straight out with plastic, so I had to put it on hold and come back the next day with a check to finish the purchase. Though, the purchase didn’t go as smooth as I would have liked, it was done and the ring was mine. I had the ring sized to her finger and about a week later I was called and it was ready for pick up. When I brought it home I hid it in a place she would never find it - my guitar case.
After taking care of the ring - the most important part - there was a sigh of relief, but I still had a lot to do. First, I started dropping subtle hints about my finances - even though they weren’t true - so that I could throw her off on what kind of ring I could afford. With her having a vague idea of how much the ring we had picked out cost, I was able to get her thinking that I wasn’t going to be able to afford it. I was also able to figure out a way around the sedan and chauffeur. Instead of trying to do the proposal on the way to the hotel, I decided that there was enough time after our arrival to the hotel to still make it to the location I wanted to propose at and still have time to do the rest of the “Plan”. With that issue addressed, I started thinking about how to tell Ashley we were going on a trip and still have it be a surprise. My first thought was to simply tell her over a nice dinner Thursday night - the night before we would leave for Chicago. This idea was quickly dismissed due to the scheduled Corporate 5k we were participating in that particular Thursday night.
Then a great idea hit me. Ashley really likes this iPhone game application I have called “Lexitron”. The point of this game is simply to make as many words as possible out of the six letters you are provided. I could surprise her with a bunch of letters and have her arrange them in a way that would tell her about the trip. But that idea in it of itself was not romantic enough for such an occasion, so I decided to give her a love card and a rose with a single letter everyday for twelve days. In the end, she would have a dozen roses, a dozen cards telling her the many reasons why I love her, and a dozen letters that would need to be arranged in a way that would tell her that she would be going on a trip.
Now, as far as “surprising” Ashley, I don’t think anything could have beaten the idea of picking her up at her office, but this new idea made the whole process more romantic and exciting, created anticipation, and allowed me the pleasure of not having to pack her bag for the trip. Even though I’m sure she would expect this to have something to do with a proposal, she wouldn’t know for sure, and that was enough to sell me on the idea.
With an idea in hand I had to go and buy the love cards and come up with a twelve letter phrase that would suit my needs. The cards were relatively easy to take care of. The phrase, however, took a bit more time. I also decided to enlist the aid of a number of coworkers. I was able to come up with a number of twelve letter phrases, and then I had them vote on which one that felt met the criteria I was looking for. In the end, “SURPRISE TRIP” was the winner. It gave enough away that it would get Ashley excited, but at the same time provided no information on the destination or the type of trip. My only concern was that it might be a little too easy for her to figure out - even with the words all scrambled. Nonetheless, with her not knowing exactly when the roses, cards, and letters would end, she could be expecting any number of letters and phrases. This is what I was hoping for.
With all the pieces set, it was time to set the “Plan” into motion. On Sunday morning, April 5th 2008, I filled a big vase with water, put a rose in it, and placed a card in front of it. When Ashley got up and walked toward the kitchen she looked at me and asked, “What’s this?” I replied, “Why don’t you open the card and find out?” She did, and asked about the letter she received. I said I wasn’t going to say anything until it was appropriate and that all she needed to know was that she shouldn’t throw anything away. She also made a remark about the large vase I was using for only a single rose. I told her there was a method to my madness. Everything happens for a reason.
With that, the “Plan” had begun. Over the coming days the vase would fill up with roses, Ashley would receive card telling her how much I loved her, and a letter for which she didn’t know what to make of. Eventually, though, the letters begin to look like they were spelling something, and by the eleventh day or so, Ashley had figured out the word “SURPRISE” but she could not make sense of the remaining letters of “R”, “I”, and “P”. Luckily, what I was hoping for came to pass, and she hadn’t made the connection with letters and the roses. She didn’t know when the letters were going to end, and she was assuming I was going to continue making words - perhaps even repeating “SURPRISE”. On Thursday night, April 16th, when we returned after the 5k she received her final rose, card and letter. I had done something different with the final rose however. Instead of using a real rose, I decided to use a fake one and in the final card I wrote to her, “My love will last until the last rose dies.” With that, she received the “T” which allowed her to complete the phrase.
She came to me and asked, “Is it surprise trip?” I said nothing to her, initially only handing her a number of emails I had printed it. The emails were the correspondences I had had with her Director, Manager and the church explaining that I had cleared it with them for her to have the next day - Friday - and the following Monday off for a surprise mini-vacation. She looked up at me in amazement and excitement. “Where are we going?!?!” she asked. I responded, “All I’m going to tell you is that you need to pack a bag for 40-60 deg weather and have a nice dress for dinner on Friday night, and we need to be ready to leave around 6:30 tomorrow morning.” I continued telling her that we would need to bring Drake over to our friends’ house for the weekend because they were nice enough to watch him while we were away. For the rest of the evening she was giddy and excited, gleefully packing and asking questions on what she should pack for clothes. I would find out the next morning that she ended up waking up ever hour throughout the night because she was so excited.
When we woke up the next morning, April 17th 2009, we got ready and the doorbell rang. To Ashley’s surprise a familiar face entered the house, but something was different. I had worked it out with my friend Navid to be our “Persian Cabby” and take us to the airport. He showed up in full character - not as himself but as Pruneshitma, Navid’s cab driving cousin - and he did not disappoint. He was absolutely hilarious and we were very appreciative of his assistance. Of course, once I gave Pruneshitma our destination, Ashley knew we were flying somewhere, but it wasn’t until I checked us in for our flight that she realized that we were going to Chicago. She was excited the entire flight to Illinois.
Once we arrived, we experienced our one and only hic-cup for the entire trip. We couldn’t find our chauffeur. I was expecting him to be standing around baggage claim with my name on a sign - something, I might add, that I always wanted to have happen. Unfortunately, on this trip, it wasn’t meant to be. I got on the phone with the sedan service and in about ten minutes was able to connect with the chauffeur and Ashley and I were on our way to the Windy City.
We arrived at the Sofitel and we were greeted with bell-hop service from the sedan to the check-in counter and then all the way to the room. We unpacked and got settled into the hotel room. While she was hanging clothes in the closet was when, unknown to her, I slipped the engagement ring from my carry-on bag into my jacket. Once we were ready, we headed down to the lobby to talk to the concierge. We asked her for a good place to get some Chicago pizza, the best way to get down to Museum Park, and how far a walk it would be to the John Hancock Building. During this conversation, Ashley discovered that we would be having dinner at the Signature Room on the 95th at the John Hancock Building. She was excited.
We left the hotel and headed to an Italian restaurant around the corner and had lunch It was a nice place with a lot of character, but unfortunately I wasn’t blown away by the pizza. I’m not the biggest fan of tomatoes and tomato chunks, so even though the cheese was fantastic, the tomato chunks took too much away from the pizza, and I was left unimpressed. Anyways, we left the restaurant, got on a bus, and headed down to Museum Park. For those who have never been to Chicago, Museum Park is the area downtown along Lake Michigan that has the Field Museum of Natural History, the Shedd Aquarium, and the Adler Planetarium. I had told Ashley that I had wanted to try and fit in one of the attractions before heading to dinner that night.
We got off the bus and started the walk to the Planetarium. On the way, I started taking pictures of the beautiful city skyline. It was a picture perfect day with not a cloud in the sky. I was able to get the attention of a couple ladies who were walking by us, and I asked if one of them would be kind enough to take a few pictures of Ashley and I. We backed up toward the lake and had the Chicago skyline behind us the one of the ladies took a couple pictures of us. When she was done, I told Ashley to stay put and I would have a quick look at the pictures. When I walked up to the ladies I whispered, “I’m going to propose to my girlfriend and I would really appreciate it if you could take some pictures while I did it. Take as many as you can.” There expression changed to an “oh wow” type of expression and they quickly said sure and played along with the idea that I wasn’t happy with the first round of pictures and that I wanted another take at them.
When I walked back to Ashley, I turned her towards me, lifted my glasses off my face and then moved hers. I then said, “Honey, are you ready for this?” I then proceeded to get down on one knee, and then lost all train of thought when I looked up to the woman I was going to propose to and saw only the sun blinding me with its brilliance. I couldn’t help but laugh. I moved Ashley a little over to the left and then began to reach into my pocket. You could see the excitement and complete surprise all over her. She didn’t know how to react. I then asked her, “Ashley Mulvey. Will you marry me?” She said and excited, “Yes!” while shaking all over. At this point I opened up the ring box I had showed her the ring she had wanted so very much. She took the box - with the ring in it - and proceeded to guide me up to kiss me. After a long hug and a number of kisses, I pulled a little away so that I could take the ring out of the box and put it on her finger. I asked her for her hand, and she provided both, and they were shaking. She was still overwhelmed with what was going on. I took her left hand and placed the ring on her finger and it fit perfectly. We then hugged and kissed until the excitement calmed down enough for us to recognize the reality of the situation. We were engaged.
We separated and turned to the ladies that had been taking pictures. They told us congratulations and gave us our camera back. We said “thank you” and proceeded to look through the pictures in excitement. After that, it was time to contact everyone and share the new and exciting news.
After all the phone calls and messages, we decided that there really wasn’t enough time to do the planetarium and still make it back to the hotel with enough time to get ready for dinner. Plus, the planetarium was closed by the time we would have been ready anyways. So, we decided to walk down to Grant Park talking and being giddy. We walked by the aquarium and then the museum. We finally settled down on a bench at the edge of the park overlooking the city and Lake Michigan. While we were there I was filling her in on all the behind the scenes stuff that I had done to plan everything. She asked questions and I did my best to answer them. We even started talking about the wedding. Everything was perfect.
Once it was time to leave, we got back on the bus and headed back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. I had told her dinner reservations were at 8:30pm and that we should be leaving the hotel to walk over to the John Hancock Building around 8pm. So, we showered up and got ready, Ashley wearing a nice dress and me wearing a suit (no tie), and a little after 8pm we headed down the street for dinner.
When we arrived, we took the elevator up to the 95th floor and headed for the hostess stand. As I approached she asked for my name and the time of the reservation. When I replied with 8pm for the reservation, Ashley turned to me with a confused look on her face. First, she hates being late and here we are showing up at 8:10pm for an 8pm reservation. Second, she couldn’t understand why I had told her reservations were at 8:30pm. The hostess then started to have a slightly confused look, but before she could really say anything, I saw our table out of the corner of my eye. I told the hostess thank you and I grabbed Ashley. As we approached the table I turned to her and I said, “Honey, I’m sorry, but I have one more surprise for you.” We got to the table and sitting there all with smiles were her parents, my parents, and her sister and brother-in-law. The look Ashley gave was priceless and you could tell that she was in heaven.
Everyone got up and we exchanged hugs, handshakes and hellos. Ashley showed everyone the ring and then we sat down and started explaining to her everything that had been going on. She found out that they had known about what was going on from the beginning. She found out that they had just been leading her along when she had called to tell them that we were engaged. She found out that I had been texting them all day long our location so that we could make sure we didn’t accidentally run into each other before dinner. She was in awe. She couldn’t believe it.
We proceed to eat a wonderful dinner and talked over the soft sounds of a piano playing in the background. This was my mother’s first time in Chicago. This was the first time my father was meeting Ashley’s family. Ashley’s sister gave her a wedding planner book, and my mother gave Ashley a “welcome to the family” card. The restaurant was even nice enough to give us a congratulations dessert. The day had gone practically perfect. A month and a half worth of planning had come to an end, and the result was absolutely fantastic. I was in awe myself that everything worked out. The weather was perfect. There were people available to take pictures where I proposed. I was able to propose at the exact spot I had decided I would a year and a half ago. Everyone was able to make it to dinner. The list goes on, and in the end if you asked anyone, they would say the day had gone perfect, absolutely flawless. It was an engagement to remember.
The rest of the weekend we were able to be tourists. The family stuck around through most of Saturday and early Sunday. We did a boat tour of Chicago, went to Navy Pier and rode the Ferris Wheel. We finally made it to the Adler Planetarium and also went to see dinosaurs at the Field Museum. The Magnificent Mile was the backdrop for a good portion of our days as we walked up and down Michigan Ave taking in the sights and shopping. We couldn’t have asked for a better weekend.
